How To Be Mysterious

There are always those people in life who continually keep us guessing. We could never understand them fully even if we wanted to - they're the dramatic foils in the passion play that is our life, slow-dancing in the background and speaking only when spoken to. These little fragments of noir royalty, with their sultry eyes and crooked smiles, these are the people who are the real lead characters. They're the ones who we would die to know completely, from cover to cover like a paperback novella, but we know that could never be possible with someone as curiously strange as they are. Just when we think we've got them completely figured out, they turn around with a different mask on and fool us yet again.

We all have little pieces of these people inside of us, whether we can shatter conversation with a simple smile or change who we are whenever we change our hair, these swingin' flappers and private detectives of lore are thriving somewhere in us. And it's never impossible to let them out.

When being charming doesn't quite do it for you, the great thing about life is that you can always turn to being mysterious.

Figure Out Who You Are
It's incredibly important to know who you are as a person before taking up the task of becoming more mysterious. Write down some of your traits and habits and highlight the aspects of your personality that you would feel comfortable revealing to others. Only your closest friends should know every trait on that list!

Always Keep Eye Contact
Although some may find it slightly intimidating, keeping solid eye contact is a sign of confidence. It gives you an air of mystery since most people, usually unconsciously, will break eye contact to fiddle with little things are glance around the room. Eye contact even while you're not speaking makes you appear attentive yet enchanting - top it off with a hazy smile to seal the deal.

Play Hard to Get
Act like everything deserves a little deliberation. Even if you're asked to do something that you'd love to jump up and down and scream yes at, hold yourself back, think about it for a few seconds, then answer with a yes and a smile. If the topic is important to you then don't beat around the bush - never be afraid to say yes or no - just eliminate the firmness in your voice. Keep everything sweet and simple leaving others confused as to your true intentions.

Sharpen up your Wit
Always stay on your toes and never be afraid to flash your dazzling wit. If you don't feel comfortable answering a question, throw out a sneaky smile and ask your company a question of your own or divert their attention to some other menial fact. The monologue?

Them: So, what's your name anyway?
You: Well, I do suppose it depends on who you ask. You know how people are these days, going by so many titles. There are names and nicknames and professional titles and pen names. My own grandfather has four different names! And I don't mean semantics like "grandpa" or "grandad" - real, legalized names!

Carry Curious Items
Wearing monogramed jewelry or other items of clothing that clearly have symbolic influence will definitely keep others guessing. Never go outright and tell people what these little trinkets mean - the dialogue below will do!

Them: What does the "M.P." on your necklace stand for?
You: If I told you right away then we'd have nothing to talk about!

Never be Afraid to be Unpredictable
Being mysterious in no way means being boring. Mysterious folk always seem to be doing something new and different which is half the reason why most people can never quite pin down their interests. If someone asks you to dance, don't say you're not a very good dancer, just dance! Play up your hidden talents spontaneously, like bringing a ukulele to work and serenading strangers in the hall.

Never Ever Act Self-Absorbed!
Mystery is not about being snooty - it's simply a way of presenting yourself. Remember people's birthdays, even those you hardly know. Bring them tiny gifts that show you remember and leave them wondering how you knew their birthday in the first place. Selflessness is never out of place.

Speak Profoundly
Even during fluid conversation, never prattle on saying things just to pass the time. Cut down on the filler in your dialogue - eliminate saying "like" and "um" altogether. If it takes you a few extra seconds to get your thoughts together, so be it. Never let yourself be pressured into mindless conversation. When you do speak, be sure to say only what you mean.

Always,
Penelope ♥

How To Be Charming

"I'm about to depart for a month to a place that feels like home to me. The entire atmosphere has been very nourishing for the eight years I have known it. However, the generally friendly people there have never received me with much warmth (as I am something of an anomaly). This year I suspect I'll be even more foreign to them than usual. I think these people are golden (if a little closed-minded sometimes), and I want to charm their socks off. How would you approach such a venture?"

There's nothing more difficult than finding something you love and having it somehow not love you back. As hard as it is to say, people can be cruel sometimes and very close-minded when it comes to the unfamiliar. Personally, I've never understood it, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. The one way that I've found to appeal broadly to almost everyone is by being charming - a trait that originated as far as I can tell in old American cinema. Starlets like Audrey Hepburn and Bette Davis could solve almost any problem by batting their lashes and turning on their legendary charms. But how exactly did they do it? Is charm a talent that you're born with, or does one acquire it like a favorite pair of shoes?

Being charming takes practice, but once perfected it can be used in most any situation and, more importantly, can send your self-confidence skyrocketing out into the stratosphere. For the every girl and socialite alike, here are the charm school basics.

Set Down the Ground Rules
Before you embark on any kind of social adventure, write out a small list of promises that you'll make to yourself. Promise yourself that you will never compromise who you are just to gain the attention of others. Promise that you won't have more than one or two casual drinks in public. Promise that you will always sing karaoke when the opportunity arises. Whatever you can think of! This kind of list is for whatever you find to be important socially and morally - it's the social samurai's code of honor. Write one up and stick to it!

Always be Yourself
It's key to always be yourself, even if you don't fit perfectly inside the lines of normal. A lot of times people will find folks that they wouldn't normally give a second glance to be incredibly endearing so long as they are upbeat and friendly. Stick to your morals and personal beliefs like glue and never back down from them - in the long run, this will earn you way more respect and admiration than sacrificing them for attention ever will.

Flirt!
Essentially, flirting and charming are the same thing - your intentions as the flirter are really the only difference between the two. Be as appealing as possible, keeping eye contact and making your positive attitude known, but the key is to present yourself in a graceful yet fun air. Act as though you were chatting up that beautiful boy with a cup of cafe au lait or that darling girl with bubblegum pink hair ribbons - even if you're not romantically interested, at worst it will always keep people interested!

Go Out Of Your Way to Talk to People
Don't intrude on their conversations at dinner, but do strike up a chat with people you wouldn't normally talk to. If you're trying to charm a particular group of people then don't be afraid to walk straight up to them and introduce yourself. Be eccentric! Follow your hello with batting your lashes and a question about their thoughts on god. If you have no particular group you're trying to thrill in mind, then simply take any opportunity to strike up conversation. Shop-keepers, waiters, supermarket cashiers - talk to whoever you can! The key is to know your limit; never draw out these tidbits of conversation into your whole life story. Charming girls always have a bit of mystery to them!

Keep Everything Casual
Informality is the key! Make people feel like they can really open up to you by placing them in a casual, easy-going setting. Never drill them with questions, even if well-intended! Tell a silly anecdote, ask them about their favorite movie, and let them answer at their leisure. People will feel much more inclined to respond positively to you if they feel relaxed.

Stay Relaxed
On that note, you too should be calm, cool and collected! Do some breathing exercises, fill your house with lavender, drink chamomile tea, or even practice light yoga. Do whatever you feel is most relaxing and conductive to a positive mood. Charming girls always appear as though they don't have a care in the world, even when the world is on their mind!

Smile!
A little happiness can go a long way - never be afraid to flash a genuine smile! If others are trying their hardest to shoot you down or if you find yourself in a rocky position, a true smile will always turn the situation upside down. Others are drawn to those who appear to be happy and carefree and a smile does both for you. It's trite but true - a smile spreads joy.

Be Humorous
If you aren't normally a very funny person then this might be a tricky one, but the message here is basically never be afraid to joke. Wit is never out of place when meeting new people. With this said, there is a fine line between wit and just plain inappropriate humor. I love dirty jokes just as much as the next girl, but they have their place and it's definitely not a good thing to throw out to people you've just met.

Practice Your Diction
For some strange reason, truly charming folk always have astonishingly perfect diction. They annunciate perfectly and never slur their words, a trait that may be hard for those of us who have a lot to say and so little time to say it! Nevertheless, practice makes perfect and when it comes to speaking, slow and strong is the way to go. Practice tongue-twisters in the mirror or shout out monologues and soliloquies while driving to work. If you're truly dedicated to the charmed way of life, you could even consider taking drama classes or auditioning for a local play. Theatre always gives you the means to perfect your speaking!

Always,

Penelope ♥